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Day-by-Day

(meant to be read with rhythm & emotion)

(This is the first poem I've ever written, nor has it been looked over by anyone before posting)

There was a time when I could remember what happiness meant
When there was no need for a therapist or counselor to let my thoughts vent

I walk alone in empty halls five days a week
Like a five page art book - with colors so bleek

I met a girl who's kindness was more than just beauty
But, unfortunate for me, Cupid's arrows continue to elude me

I've followed life's path, every twist and bend
But every choice I make, leads me to a dead-end

How many more times must I die before the pain ends
How many more days until all these wounds and broken bones mend

I've lost count of the number of times I've lost myself including a best friend

After that, I'm left with nothing
Nothing but the self-agony and the feeling of melting

Melting away, like ice in boiling water
Dissapearing so fast, by the time you noticed - I'd be gone

I'll never know what happens to my family after I'm free
But I already know, the tears they'd cry without me

Though I do not understand why anyone would want me
I remember a day, when I met a girl. Who's kindness, was more than just beauty.

At the end of the poem, he meets the girl that is mentioned near the beginning of the poem?

Does that mean it's a sort of flashback, working back up to the present time in the poem; or am I thinking too hard xD

Nevermind, I misread the ending xD

but yea, do what you said in the reply to this. lol

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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its
whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein

Owner of the original Culio PK - PK Worldz

Ramy posted: (31st Mar 2013, 05:02 am)

At the end of the poem, he meets the girl that is mentioned near the beginning of the poem?

Does that mean it's a sort of flashback, working back up to the present time in the poem; or am I thinking too hard xD

The way the poem was created was completely spontaneous. I had no planned story-line. I just started typing and arranged what I said into this poem.
I might try and think up some more details to add to the poem (so that it can make more sense), to give it more of a "story-telling" feel to it.

Thanks for the feed back

If Atmosphere was an emo kid, it would sound like this. I have no idea whether you're going to take that as an insult, or a compliment. So... Yea.

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Forum Ghost V2, Test Player, Mapping Artist, Optimist Prime, Server Owner (Hoodrats PK), Quest
Writer, Amateur Pixel Artist
Curious George

Sounds like a very good expression of feeling and that you put a lot of it into the poem. Id say its a pretty good job.

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Andrewbob - I would be on the fucking copter of rofls

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