Forum :: Lounge :: Recent "ex" is already with another guy?

(note: we have an 8 month old daughter)

Me and this girl have been together almost 2 years, but she recently broke up with me after I found out that she's been avoiding contact with me and going out with her friends/having guys visit behind my back for the past 4 months. She has never been a really honest person, she lied to me about her past and I had to find out about after we were already a year into our relationship; but I forgave her and moved on. After we broke up, we still talked to eachother on an almost daily basis (with the exception on days where she again ignored me). After much interrogation, she finally confessed that guys have been hitting on her, but that she wasn't interested in getting into a new relationship (I still loved her at this point and was trying to get back together). Yesterday, I saw that she was online on her old FB account even though she never used it anymore (and she hasn't spoken to me that entire day); and I had the password, so I logged on to see what she was doing since she's been ignoring me. I found out that she's been having "Phone Sex" with this guy she's known for about 3 years, and that she masturbated on the phone with him. They've also sent naked pictures to eachother.

After confronting her about this (I wasn't even angry, just felt disappointed and betrayed), she got mad at me for going through her Facebook messages and ignored me for the rest of that night (even though she was still online talking to other friends).

I am only upset that she would so easily move on to having a sexual relationship with someone else after we had just broken up just last month. I no longer have any feelings towards her other than betrayal and disgust... but I still feel the need to talk to her. What can I do to move on as quickly as possible from this girl, as she only hurts me more & more the longer I have a connection with her? I don't want to go back to being alone, and we were eachother's lives; everything still reminds me of her and how we used to be.

(may be edited to add more information)

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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its
whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein

Owner of the original Culio PK - PK Worldz

Ok so..

This sounds like something I'd write.. Same thing happens to me with every girl; my bro Haze can comfirm

What you need to know is that love isn't the most important thing in life, need to find some different goals and more important things to have than a gf, wife and whatever. 

Don't fear being alone, it's better for you to be alone than to be hurt..

I know you are in a shitty situation right now.. but you need to know things will get better, sooner or later you'll get over her, some new woman will come in your life, you're gonna be happier than ever, and you will find it funny and think how stupid you were to even feel sad over that biatch leaving you

And wtf man 'I no longer have any feelings towards her' then you ask how to move on from her? If you don't have feelings towards her you wouldn't give a shit..

And you sound like a creep saying 'I am only upset that she would so easily move on to having a sexual relationship with someone else after we had just broken up just last month.'; sexual relationship? HOW DO YOU KNOW !? xD (and no I don't wanna know the answer to this question)

Also.. Don't think that you lost her and she didn't lose anything because she has some other guy.. She lost you ! It's her mistake, you shouldn't regret for it .. Don't ever look down on yourself, some time ago you meant to her as much as she means/meant to you, she's not more important than you are !

go listen to I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AIN'T 1, really good song.. no.. jk

Hope it helped; sincerely yours STAVA BOII

stava posted: (23rd Feb 2013, 04:58 pm)

Ok so..

This sounds like something I'd write.. Same thing happens to me with every girl; my bro Haze can comfirm

What you need to know is that love isn't the most important thing in life, need to find some different goals and more important things to have than a gf, wife and whatever. 

Don't fear being alone, it's better for you to be alone than to be hurt..

I know you are in a shitty situation right now.. but you need to know things will get better, sooner or later you'll get over her, some new woman will come in your life, you're gonna be happier than ever, and you will find it funny and think how stupid you were to even feel sad over that biatch leaving you

And wtf man 'I no longer have any feelings towards her' then you ask how to move on from her? If you don't have feelings towards her you wouldn't give a shit..

And you sound like a creep saying 'I am only upset that she would so easily move on to having a sexual relationship with someone else after we had just broken up just last month.'; sexual relationship? HOW DO YOU KNOW !? xD (and no I don't wanna know the answer to this question)

Also.. Don't think that you lost her and she didn't lose anything because she has some other guy.. She lost you ! It's her mistake, you shouldn't regret for it .. Don't ever look down on yourself, some time ago you meant to her as much as she means/meant to you, she's not more important than you are !

go listen to I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AIN'T 1, really good song.. no.. jk

Hope it helped; sincerely yours STAVA BOII

What I meant by "I no longer have any feelings towards her" was that I was no longer in love, but she was still always on my mind because of what I had just found out and it bothers me. I was asking for advice on how to make it so I "don't give a shit" basically. xD

Thanks for the advice~

---
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its
whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein

Owner of the original Culio PK - PK Worldz

i cant tell if you're serious or not because you are asking for relationship advice on eoserv. this isnt the place to ask for advice but im going to answer anyway

you say she hurts you the more you have a connection to her, but you have a permanent connection to her. your daughter. stay in contact for your daughters sake, but for that reason only. you cant just make it so you dont give a shit but you can distract yourself by surrounding yourself with people/things you love. accept what happened and realize it wasnt meant to be. understand that you werent together at the time and you still arent. she clearly wants to move on and you should too. i know you're hurt and even though you feel the need to talk to her about it, dont. time is a healer.

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hi guise

Well I got two major comments, then I'm going to leave this topic alone.

First, you have a 8 month old daughter and you aren't married. Either you honestly didn't give a damn about her to begin with or you don't give a damn about the daughter.

Second, if you want to get over her so bad get a fricken hobby or find someone else. If you just sit there and think about her then you're never going to get over her.

Inb4 I get -1 for saying my opinion because everyone seems to hate it when you tell it how it is.

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Former multi-server mapper.

yea idk why u brought a baby into the world when u guys couldnt even stay together a year after it was born.   

she's not dating u, and she's single, u really had no business going though her stuff.

your going to be paying child support to a slut who lied and then basicaly shit all over u.

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Insomniac:I like how in the lounges forum description sausage says "Bitches go crazy." and that's
exactly what you do!
Pixel artist | Mapping artist | Alternative artist | Heavenly Karma | oldbie | top 50  |
Attention whore | main player |

Control yo hos.

you're an idiot. You had a baby with a slut. Lmfao, your life sucks ass dude. You had a baby with a slut. That's your fault. You made a stupid choice and that bitch will continue to fuck you over. Child support is a bitch.

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The 2nd Best in the world.

HOW ABOUT BE MORE SUPPORTIVE GUYS !?..

doesn't seem like he's in all that great situation to begin with, all the criticizing is definitely NOT gonna help him; AND I'M 200% SURE ABOUT THAT.

AND HE WAS HELPING PEOPLE WHEN THEY NEEDED HELP

We did not plan to have a child, it was an accident and at the time she had me believing that she truly loved me so we decided to keep it. For the 1st half of the pregnancy I was considering adoption/abortion, but she refused everything and said she was keeping it no-matter what... and she still pretended that she loved me up until the very day we broke up, I did not see it coming until I found out some of her secrets (turns out she had more).

EDIT: There's already a topic about some of the other things she's been keeping from me, but it's an old one :P (the same thing that happened on that topic just happened again btw, with a new guy)

---
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its
whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein

Owner of the original Culio PK - PK Worldz

Ramy posted: (23rd Feb 2013, 10:09 pm)

We did not plan to have a child, it was an accident and at the time she had me believing that she truly loved me so we decided to keep it. For the 1st half of the pregnancy I was considering adoption/abortion, but she refused everything and said she was keeping it no-matter what... and she still pretended that she loved me up until the very day we broke up, I did not see it coming until I found out some of her secrets (turns out she had more).

EDIT: There's already a topic about some of the other things she's been keeping from me, but it's an old one :P (the same thing that happened on that topic just happened again btw, with a new guy)

Guess I got one more comment. "We did not plan to have a child..." 

1) Ever hear of a condom and other forms of protection?

2) There's a magic little thing called the Morning After Pill.

3) Why did you stick your meat in the grinder, and then just now "it was an accident". You knew what you were doing so it wasn't an accident.

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Former multi-server mapper.

Misca posted: (24th Feb 2013, 02:49 am)

Ramy posted: (23rd Feb 2013, 10:09 pm)

We did not plan to have a child, it was an accident and at the time she had me believing that she truly loved me so we decided to keep it. For the 1st half of the pregnancy I was considering adoption/abortion, but she refused everything and said she was keeping it no-matter what... and she still pretended that she loved me up until the very day we broke up, I did not see it coming until I found out some of her secrets (turns out she had more).

EDIT: There's already a topic about some of the other things she's been keeping from me, but it's an old one :P (the same thing that happened on that topic just happened again btw, with a new guy)

Guess I got one more comment. "We did not plan to have a child..." 

1) Ever hear of a condom and other forms of protection?

2) There's a magic little thing called the Morning After Pill.

3) Why did you stick your meat in the grinder, and then just now "it was an accident". You knew what you were doing so it wasn't an accident.

You've never heard of a broken condom or the pill not being effective? The only true way to never have a baby, guaranteed, is to never have sex. Which isn't all that great for long term relationships. Everyone is acting like he knew this stuff the whole time and chose to be ignorant about it or something, I guess no one understands that situations change and people lie. I was supposed to be married to my ex by now, and then I found out she was cheating on me. Does that mean I should've expected her to cheat on me before I got with her and never asked her out in the first place?

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May he now rest under aegis of mirage -
As the sands slowly turn to Elysian fields

Ramy posted: (23rd Feb 2013, 10:09 pm)

We did not plan to have a child, it was an accident and at the time she had me believing that she truly loved me so we decided to keep it. For the 1st half of the pregnancy I was considering adoption/abortion, but she refused everything and said she was keeping it no-matter what... and she still pretended that she loved me up until the very day we broke up, I did not see it coming until I found out some of her secrets (turns out she had more).

EDIT: There's already a topic about some of the other things she's been keeping from me, but it's an old one :P (the same thing that happened on that topic just happened again btw, with a new guy)

dude i woulda made her get an abortion, bitches be crazy yo

@stava

HE POSTED THIS ON EOSERV! what do u expect! >:|

---
Insomniac:I like how in the lounges forum description sausage says "Bitches go crazy." and that's
exactly what you do!
Pixel artist | Mapping artist | Alternative artist | Heavenly Karma | oldbie | top 50  |
Attention whore | main player |

Let the people know what she is. Tell ERRYBODY what she did to you. That'll stop people from going near her.

Well, not EVERYONE but you know.. a lot..

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"Nurd, you're like a fucking swiss army knife" - Necrosis

This whole thread is too long and depressing  in the end of it all wont fix any of your real life problems which I didn't care to read about, anyways if it makes you feel any better my life is totally awesome right now I have a couple girls I have no feelings attached too and a lot of money. Girls you would most likely fall in love and reject you because they rather be with someone like me. So yeah... Use that as motivation or whatever I got things to do Later nerdssss.

ps you are a loser for still having an attachment to someone who has already movd on hahahah

In my opinion (which is what you're seeking, others opinions) you really need to just move on and if it appears challenging, find other ways to entertain yourself, i.e new hobbies, meet new people.

When someone is single, they are bound by no rules (relationship wise) so there is no betrayal they can commit. What she did whilst the two of you were together was wrong and unfaithful, but that's history now as you are no longer together. If you still like her, then just tell her, but I believe you'd be wasting your time on someone who is just going to pile more misery on to you and rub more salt into your already open wound that has had minimal salt already rubbed into. I suppose as you have a child together, there may be mis-direction as to how you feel, but just focus on the child and don't get your feelings crossed with those you have toward the mother, just do what she is doing and move on.This might be more difficult for you as she appeared to not care so much, but you're a human with a mind more powerful than most people give it credit for. Your mind can overcome these small difficulties. I consider relationships to be miniscule in the grand scale of things, it's a lot worse to have a family member die, friend involved in a serious accident, child becomes unwell and you panic about what the next step should be, you lose your job/and or driving license, you become homeless. Unless you have been married or together for around 10 years or more, then I consider it relatively easy to get over people compared to some of the things I listed above. There are on average, over 3 billion women on this planet, they're not verging on extinction, go out to a bar or something and try your luck with the local desperados. If one of the women you hit on appears like their posession of one brain cell could be a bit far-fetched, either move on to pastures new, sleep with them, but do NOT date them. Leave that for people whom you can hold interesting conversations with, someone who understands common sense and most important of all, someone who accepts you for who you are.

To sum all of that up for simplicity and directive purposes, forget about the ex, find some kind of new interest and see how that pans out, and if you're feeling lonely then go out in search of a new woman.

(Also don't listen to the simpletons who are satirical just for the sake of being satirical, I'm sure their life isn't as miraculous as they make out it to be with their derogatory remarks)