Forum :: Lounge :: Relationship help?

I started seeing this guy online in July. He was very quiet but he made effort to talk to me despite having selective mutism. I'll be brutally honest here because I want real responses.. He treated me very well. He was a guy who would hold on to the relationship no matter what and if there was a problem he would keep trying to improve it. He was a guy who could offer security to a completely insecure person. I always felt like he would never leave me, because that's just who he was. He wasn't secure himself, he has a very difficult past (I'll say that much), not just his childhood but his ex's as well. After about a month in, I started getting upset with the way he talked. Mind you, he spoke in broken english, never used full sentences. This led to things getting very confusing and frusterating at some points. I tried doing different things to get him to talk more despite his disability, but ultimately I ended up taking it out on him which ended up making him very upset. "I'm sorry I'm such a damaged person", is what he said. We moved on past that, but I also noticed he was trying harder to speak to me. And any time I had a problem past that he would try to improve it. Some more time passed, and around October I tried to break up with him but even then he still tried his best to keep me around and continually put more effort in. I told him I wasn't sure if I felt anything anymore. But every day he kept trying new things to keep my interest. I was in school at the time so I thought it was just a passing thing because I never really made time to talk to him. Again, going to be blunt here because I want real responses, but I met a guy in RL @ College and I started seeing him about a month after this happened. Yes--I cheated on the online guy. I felt like the relationship with him online wasn't going anywhere. This guy is 25 and lives off of welfare & food stamps he recieves for his back issue. He also lives in a different country from me so getting past the "only dating online" makes it difficult because he's unable to work. Which is why I was so into the idea of seeing this guy inrl. He was the complete opposite--outgoing, had many jobs, did everything for himself and he treated me really well. You know all those dumb things girls post on facebook about how guys should be like? He's basically that. Very chivalrous. I thought that being with him I could get what I want out of a relationship--which is ultimately just being able to live and start a family with the person I love. The online guy found out last tuesday and broke it off with me. Upon doing so, he said "Don't come looking for love until you've sorted yourself out. When you do, if I'm still single, you better be damn good at making up all this pain and heartache you put me though." As if to imply that he would still want to be with me despite what I've done. After re-analyzing myself and the situation more I realized that the online guy is the person I want to be with. So I broke up with the other guy. What do I do from here? How do I tell if he's still interested? I know he said what he said when he broke up with me, but I can't actually ask for him back until I get my stuff together. (Likely, job seeking after the holidays and quitting school then focusing on getting money and visa ready to see him). A hadn't started talking to him again until after I broke up with the other guy. A close mutual friend said I should keep talking to him because he likely still really wants to speak to me. It seemed that way at first, But it's hard to tell because now he's gone back to the way he was before we started dating. Usually replies with less than a sentence, now capitizes and punctuates his words (he never ever did this before). It seems like he avoids me when before he was perfectly happy to be in the same place doing absolutely nothing with me. The same mutual friend tried to reassure me saying that 'i was special to him' and 'even though he doesnt say otherwise he doesnt want it to end this way'. He also didn't say it to me, but the mutual friend sent this from the guy "her turn to make it up to me". What should I do to fix the situation? How do I get back with him?

Stop dating people who can't count to potatoes..

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)CTronic.org 
I'm Nutso. Keep your fingers out of my butthole.

1) You don't get back with him. Online relationships never work out. Ever.

2) You get back with the college guy.

3) Make babies.

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college guy doesn't want to for a long time he says that people in their early 20's nowadays are essentially kids and if theyre kids themselves how can they possibly be a good parent. he wants me to have job aspirations and shit but i only want to be a good wife and mom

Rawrkitty posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:00 am)

college guy doesn't want to for a long time he says that people in their early 20's nowadays are essentially kids and if theyre kids themselves how can they possibly be a good parent. he wants me to have job aspirations and shit but i only want to be a good wife and mom

1) Apologize. Tell him that you're a grown ass women and you want to be with him regardless.
2) Refer to steps 2 & 3.

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Agreed haze lol.

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I Mustache you a question, but i'll shave it for later.

Haze posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:02 am)

Rawrkitty posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:00 am)

college guy doesn't want to for a long time he says that people in their early 20's nowadays are essentially kids and if theyre kids themselves how can they possibly be a good parent. he wants me to have job aspirations and shit but i only want to be a good wife and mom

1) Apologize. Tell him that you're a grown ass women and you want to be with him regardless.
2) Refer to steps 2 & 3.

but he's black

Rawrkitty posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:03 am)

Haze posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:02 am)

Rawrkitty posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:00 am)

college guy doesn't want to for a long time he says that people in their early 20's nowadays are essentially kids and if theyre kids themselves how can they possibly be a good parent. he wants me to have job aspirations and shit but i only want to be a good wife and mom

1) Apologize. Tell him that you're a grown ass women and you want to be with him regardless.
2) Refer to steps 2 & 3.

but he's black

Kill it. Before it lays eggs.

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Rawrkitty posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:03 am)

Haze posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:02 am)

Rawrkitty posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:00 am)

college guy doesn't want to for a long time he says that people in their early 20's nowadays are essentially kids and if theyre kids themselves how can they possibly be a good parent. he wants me to have job aspirations and shit but i only want to be a good wife and mom

1) Apologize. Tell him that you're a grown ass women and you want to be with him regardless.
2) Refer to steps 2 & 3.

but he's black

Then say it like this.. I'm fluent in nigger..


Yo bby booboo, u is hawt i wuz wrng u is rght ight? I ned u now n lyfe n sht. luv u bobobear

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)CTronic.org 
I'm Nutso. Keep your fingers out of my butthole.

Sigh...

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Siggy

apple posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:07 am)

Sigh...

A wild nigger appears.

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)CTronic.org 
I'm Nutso. Keep your fingers out of my butthole.

I agree with Haze

Online relationships never work ....

But if I was you I'd probably go talk with that online dude, tell him everything that's bothering you and what was bothering you before.. I say this since I'm a guy and I like open girls, tell me whatever is on your heart so we don't lie each other. I think the guy could give you best advice. He is replying short just because he is hurt, he's definitely glad to talk with you every time he gets the chance..

But I suck so don't listen to my advices..

stava posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:08 am)

I agree with Haze

Online relationships never work ....

But if I was you I'd probably go talk with that online dude, tell him everything that's bothering you and what was bothering you before.. I say this since I'm a guy and I like open girls, tell me whatever is on your heart so we don't lie each other. I think the guy could give you best advice. He is replying short just because he is hurt, he's definitely glad to talk with you every time he gets the chance..

But I suck so don't listen to my advices..

You'll just put her in your position lol. Horrible advice. She should just find another decent college guy and do step 3 with him.

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stava posted: (20th Dec 2012, 03:08 am)

I agree with Haze

Online relationships never work ....

But if I was you I'd probably go talk with that online dude, tell him everything that's bothering you and what was bothering you before.. I say this since I'm a guy and I like open girls, tell me whatever is on your heart so we don't lie each other. I think the guy could give you best advice. He is replying short just because he is hurt, he's definitely glad to talk with you every time he gets the chance..

But I suck so don't listen to my advices..

I apolgoized to him more formally last night but he didn't say anything regarding such. I knew he read it though because he was doing other things so i know he was there he just chose not to say anything. he has spoken to me since, but still his little bits and pieces

Reading that made my eyes hurt o.o how long did that take to write up :o?