Forum :: Lounge :: Another Brick In The Wall.

Six weeks ago, I took my final bow from EOSERV. It was a very abrupt leave with little explanation, it left a lot of us somewhat confused, some of us absolutely scathing that i'd leave them when i'd often said otherwise. Even I thought I would continue on relatively care-free up until I no longer had any choice.

I don't believe it would be out of line to call it almost a Necessary Leave of Absence in a way. I currently work as a full time service technician, I manage the remaining 3 members of my family, work on at least three projects on a daily basis, have another dozen in the pipeline. Cash to worry about. Don't really have friends as such. What ultimately took the final shot was a relapse, a reoccurrence of early-onset depression that I thought I had kicked years ago. It's difficult to describe what it feels like to be unable to sleep, unable to work, unable to string together coherent sentences in conversation and have a complete lack of direction (or better known as a complete sense of confusion).

EOSERV quickly fell to a much lower priority. Before I could even think about getting back into this, or anything else online, I had to resolve the other issues first. To this day i'm still working through issue after issue, working through the demons of the past and now pressing forward to planning out my personal future roadmap and actually seeing some success. I revisited possibly one of my favourite quotes:

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." - Steven Paul Jobs, 1955-2011

Determination rules over all, and i'm pleased to report that I have been meeting with former business associates once again, become involved in some new ideas and startups, am once again excelling at work and the remainder of the family is doing well too, we have a solid source of income and my dreams are no longer as out of reach as they used to be. Made a little cash on the side. Bought a new phone to celebrate. I have a completely different vision of the world and my role within it, it's a little more pessimistic in some ways than it used to be, but a whole lot more driven and determined. 

I'm not here for pity. I'm well past the point of needing it.

One can't forget the #eohax channel. Sausage, Addy, Addison, Apollo, Ananas, Desmond, Jimmyee, Natalie, Skittles... apologies if I forgot any, but this group is one of the oddest ones i've ever had the pleasure of being affiliated with. Although Plasmastar is a bit unusual at times. It's just part of his image, so I guess we'll have to learn to deal with it. This team deserves a round of applause.

There were way too many casualties on the way down, I must admit. These people know who they are. I know some of my associations with these people are a total loss, and i'm prepared to live with that fact. Explanations however were in order. I think they needed to know. Misunderstandings formed from the fact I couldn't easily string thoughts together, bad situations accelerated into much worse ones, and there was very little I could do by that stage.

As for EOSERV, as much as i'm sure some members would like this to be an indication of my return, it's not exactly. I'm looking for an A-team to work with here, people as keen as I am on making something great, and I don't think EOSERV is quite there yet. It wants to be, and it most certainly has changed a lot in such a short span of time, but it definitely has a way to go. In the on and off times i've had spare moments i've checked in on the community quietly to see how everything's going and chances are i'll continue to do just that. With some hard work and a restructuring of this place, I think the aim of restoring this place to its former glory is doable.

As for the thread title... well, I figured the lounge was already full of randomised topics, so what's another one?

Regards, - M.

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EOSERV.net Academy Of Trolls, Satirists & Sarcastics
5.5 Years Former Site Administrator / Moderation Team / Member (Retired)

Interesting. I will be looking forward to seeing what you do in the future with this "A-Team". 

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http://www.ctronic.ga
http://www.tsu.co/Deltro
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It most certainly will be. The "A-team" reference is one I borrowed, but it refers to the belief that to make a great product, you need to surround yourself with a great team of people that share your passion, otherwise the end product suffers. I spent years trying to put together a great radio team, but I never achieved it because I believed that I could take anyone in and make it work. That would have ended differently if I screened and selected only a handful who truly wanted to be a part of it.

If that makes sense.

EOSERV is much the same. I know EOSERV is Sausage's project, but i've never been hesitant to comment on it. Imagine if instead of a team consisting of large private servers, individual scripters, graphics artists... we had a core team of skilled people working on one killer server and one killer client, all sharing the intent of creating one great game. Who knows what we could achieve, we could have that client running on phones, tablets, desktops, and all within the span of months, not years.

That's just what i've come to realise anyway. Completely changed my outlook on everything i've ever tried before.

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EOSERV.net Academy Of Trolls, Satirists & Sarcastics
5.5 Years Former Site Administrator / Moderation Team / Member (Retired)

Welcome back, I missed you. If you are going to have clients running on phones or tablets you might as well make your own game because you'd be almost there.

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Love you too.

Rest assured, it was just an example. I've moved on past the idea of working for EOSERV or the project in general, some of the ideas I have are a little more involved than just the server emulators these days.

Thanks for the welcome back, but i'm not sure it's what's actually happening here. I'm contacting a number of past groups, teams, projects and individuals as I see fit to tie up loose ends and inform some of them what happened. I may post in a thread here or there, I have some time to spare of course, I wouldn't expect to be back on staff or even as a mentor anymore though, just a standard semi-frequent user at best.

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EOSERV.net Academy Of Trolls, Satirists & Sarcastics
5.5 Years Former Site Administrator / Moderation Team / Member (Retired)

Welcome back, glad to see not all sanity is gone from EOserv.

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Oh, it's you.
[Omni, Seraphim, Idea, Returnity]

wooohooo welcome back =3